First of all thank you for sharing your experience, I'm sorry to hear that you experienced this, coupled with gaslighting, in your marriage. I commend you for the immense work it sounds like you've done with yourself and have even passed down that knowledge to your children and grandchildren.
Yes, I do think that therapy, counselling, or other means of help needs to also be taken on by men. I did not know about that fact - really gives you a lot to think about!
And just to say I don't think the knowledge came to late for you - I think just the fact that you recognize it now after being so conditioned to it, is a small victory in itself in the greater scheme of things.